tooth decay and dentists
by minko
Summary: Schwarz need to get there teeth cleaned, can brad handle the chaos? the answer's no.....
1. Default Chapter

Heh heh, sweet revenge... I mean welcome to my first fic! I really hate the dentist, so I'm getting revenge... my way. Ok, this is my first fic, so be nice! Please? O_o I'm off to a bad start aren't I? Disclaimer: I don't own Schwarz! I don't own any thing for that matter. Wait! I own a pencil! I would own an eraser but it disappeared into chaos and nothingness, and waits in a sea of guilty minds and precious souls.. Either that or my cat ate it o_O Ok, ok I know its short..  
  
"Remind me why were here?!" Shuldig asked in an annoyed tone while staring at the magazine that had been sitting on page one in his lap for about a half hour. "Were in a dentists office, what do dentists USSUALY do?" Brad replied in a bored almost irritated tone. "How the hell should I know?!? Iv haven't been to a dentist in." "That's exactly why were here" Brad cut Shuldig off, not really wanting to know how long its been. "Then why am I here?" Farfarello suddenly said in one of his half sane, half "mad man" voices. "Because, dentists hurt god" Nagi quickly said before farfie good get annoyed with the idea of someone reaching inside of his mouth and not being aloud to bite them. "Heh heh," Farfarello smiled "oh yeah." Brad rolled his eyes as a woman came out into the half deserted waiting room. "Well how are we all doing today, that's great! I'm doing super as well. Well let's just take young Nagi here into a room down the hall where we'll clean up his little teeth and give him a perfect little smile!" Nagi barley had time to glare at the overly happy woman before he was dragged off down the hall. Brad and Shuldig just stared blankly at where the woman had been standing not have had under stood a word she had said. Of coarse it had sounded more like "Wellhowarewealldoingtoday,thatsgreat!I'mdoingsuperaswell.Welllet'sjusttakey oung Nagihereintoaroomdownthehallwherewe'llcleanuphislittleteethandgivehimaperfec tlittle smile!" to them. "Are you SURE she hurts god?"  
  
Ok there will be another chapter of what happens to poor Nagi in that dreaded room, no matter what you people say! MWUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! But if you don't like that chapter then I'll cry ;; THEN I'll delete it from human existence.. Or feed it to my cat o_O 


	2. Waiting room of terror

Ok, well this ones a little longer. heh heh. Id like to say a few things first. Fist of all, thanks for the good reviews! ^_^ ! Ok, but sorry that the sorys are all just in one big paragraph, but once I upload them the change that way and I don't know how to fix them.. If sum one would like to email me and help me out on that, it would be greatly appreciated.  
  
Disclaimer: At this point I don't own anything *sob* my friend stole my pencil. *cry's*  
  
"Now Nagi just sit down in that chair that's in the middle of the room, see, right there, and I'm going to go out into the hall way and talk to Dr. Spraganey about YOU then I'll be right back here and start the process of cleaning your little teeth!" The woman said with a big smile plastered on her face then ran out the door. //"NowNagijustsitdowninthatchairthat'sinthemiddleoftheroom,see,rightthere,an dI'mgoingtogooutintothehallwayandtalktoDr.SpraganeyaboutYOUthenI'llberightba ckhereandstart heprocessofcleaningyourlittleteeth!" What the hell does that mean?!?!?!!?// Nagi took a seat down in the chair that was indeed in the middle of the room, supposing that that was one of the things she had said.  
  
Back in the now very full waiting room "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "Shut up" "Bored" "SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW SCHULDIG OR I'LL RAM THE MAGAZINE UP YOUR ASS!" Random mother: O_O Random child: O_O Random teenager #1:O_O Random teenager #2: O_O Random woman: O_O Random man: O_O Random secretary: O_O Dr. spaghetti: O_O Dr. Pasta: O_O Schuldig: ^_^ Farfie: -_- (sleeping) Brad: *pant pant* "bored" X_X  
  
Back in dentists room: Nagi: -_- (sleeping as well) "Ok Nagi, lets get started" The woman walked in and started putting on her gloves. (the speed wore off) "Huh?" Nagi blinked a few times before realizing he was still in the dentist's office. "Now lets start by putting this little apron around your neck and-" "Miss. Overly happy woman!" A man walked in the door before she could finish. "Yes Dr. Spraganey?" The woman turned around. "I'm gonn'a haft'a check his teeth before you proceed" "Fine, but hurry it up, there are three other of them waiting out there.." "I'll have one of the other doctors take care of them, all the patients have seemed to clear out for some reason, so all the doctors are just kind of resting" "Hm, well, ok, I'll go have Dr. Lasagna work on.." M.Ohw (Miss. Overly happy woman) flipped through her charts a few times, "Farfarello" "Okie Dokie" Was Dr. Spraganey's only response. Nagi: o_O //Poor Dr. Lasagna//  
  
Heh heh, I like Italian food ^o^ Please review! 


	3. Phantom tooth

Sorry for keeping all you waiting for this chapter.. That is if anybody actually reads this crap... well any ways, I actually wrote half this chapter a while ago, but I got distracted and just now finished it. Ok, this is actually based around the crappy service and poor management of my dentist -_-; Oh and also, I know the Schwarz characters are a little out of character *glares at the chapter for a second* Ok scratch a little and put really out of character..  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the Schwarz characters just like in chp. 1 and 2. On the other hand I do own all the Italian-food-named doctors and Miss.OHW  
  
  
  
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"Nagi, I just got done counting you teeth, and I realized that your missing a tooth. It looks like it was just kind of pulled out! But according to your records, you've never had a tooth pulled. Actually it says you've never been to a dentist... Well any ways, Nagi have you ever had a tooth pulled?"  
  
"ererhm oh.." Was what it sounded like Nagi said since he had a couple different things in his mouth. What he REALLY said was "Erm no.."  
  
"Hm, that's really odd," (He can understand the language of people with tubes in their mouth) The dentist flipped through his charts a few times, acting like he was doing something even though he wasn't, seeing how his charts were upside down, "Do you know how this could have happened?"  
  
"ererhm..." ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Flashback..  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
"What's the matter now chibi?" Schuldig asked in a bored tone while lying back-down (opposite of face down) on the living room floor.  
  
"My tooth hurts!" Nagi complained after taking a big gulp of ice cold water trying to numb it a little  
  
"Oh poor baby, do you want Schuldig to make it all better?" He said with one of his famous lop sided grins.  
  
"Oh shut up baka" Nagi responded quickly in a pissed tone, not really wanting to put up with Schuldig's crap.  
  
"I was just kidding, jeez your like the spawn of Brad, except instead of a tree up your ass you only have a branch.."  
  
"Oh thanks.im just flattered," the youth said in a moderate tone while rolling his eye's.  
  
"A very very large branch"  
  
"By the way, where is Crawford?"  
  
"In his office." Which made both of the young men turn to the one eyed Irish man that was now standing in the door way. "But I don't suggest you go in there, he threatened to shoot the next breathing thing that stepped one foot into his office.. weather it be friend or foe."  
  
"Why do you need to speak to him anyways?" "Because I need to go to the dentist and do something about this tooth"  
  
"It's that bad?" Schu asked in an 'I don't really care' tone.  
  
"What's that bad?" Farfie hissed in the same tone  
  
"His tooth hurts"  
  
"Heh heh, suck it up Nagi"  
  
"That's easy for you to say Farf, all your teeth could be rotting and falling out and you wouldn't even notice!"  
  
"So?" The white haired man asked like it wasn't a big deal.  
  
"Well, I guess you can risk stepping in Brads office...I'd hate to see some one as youthful as you die at such a young age though..."  
  
"Try holding your breath, he said the next breathing thing, if your not breathing then he cant shoot you"  
  
"Won't I pass out though?"  
  
"So? It will hurt god a lot" Nagi and Schuldig both rolled their eyes at this last comment "What? It will"  
  
"Right Farf. Pull it out your self if its bugging you SO much"  
  
"What?!? No way, that would hurt even more!"  
  
"No it wouldent, I mean only for a hour or so. any ways, your telekinesis, it will be easy"  
  
"No! I refuse to do something so stupid!"  
  
"Heh, this is going to hurt god."  
  
A half hour later (after a lot of convincing).....  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
"Yep, it definitely hurt god" ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
"Mhdo.." (no)  
  
"Hmm? Oh right! Well then, has that area where the tooth is supposed to be bothering you at all?"  
  
"Mhdo" (no)  
  
"Ok good! So we can just leave the area alone then, ok then that's great!"  
  
"ehearnm" (erm)  
  
"I'll just send Miss.OHW in to clean your teeth then you can go back with your family! Ok, you be a good boy Nagi and I hope to see you soon!" The dentist said as he removed the tubes from Nagi's mouth.  
  
"Family?"  
  
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Erm.. Please review? 


	4. Hurting god is fun for everyone!

No, I'm not dead! Heh, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I made a rule where the chapter has to have at least 1,000 words. I know that's sad but my life is very right now with homework and such. Well on with the chapt- *grumble* I mean the disclaimer...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weib *sniffle* trust me, if I did, I would be working on a new series where Schwarz are the main characters ^_^  
  
Dr. Lasagna walked into the almost empty waiting room and looked at the 3 men sitting in the corner. //So the rumors are true. a pissed American, a man with unusually long orange hair, and a pirate.// Dr. Lasagna thought as he looked at the three of them. They all seemed to sense someone watching them because they all looked up at the same time.  
  
"Ok which one of you is Farfarello?" Dr. Lasagna said while looking slightly scared //please don't let it be the pirate, please don't let it be the pirate, please don't let it be the pirate, please don't let it be the-//  
  
"That would be him" said the one with long hair. He had a very big grin on his face, which almost made him look evil. The one eyed pirate got up and walked over to Dr. Lasagna with an even eviler grin on his face.  
  
"O ok t th then." Dr. Lasagna managed to spit out before leading Farfarello to a room with another large chair in it.  
  
"Heh heh, he thinks Farf looks like a pirate" Schuldig said while laughing at the Doctors thoughts. Brad just glared as a woman with a small child walked in.  
  
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"Ok just sit down there" said Dr. Lasagna while he swallowed down his fear of the scratched up man. //Maybe if I don't make any sudden movements I'll be alright// He thought as he watched the man called Farfarello slowly sit down.  
  
Now Dr. Lasagna was a very lucky man. well for the time being that is. See, Brad had predicted that Farfie would hurt the dentist. Usually Crawford wouldn't care but then again if Farfarello killed a man in a public area that would mean that he would have to deal with the police, and Crawford dident like dealing with the idiots of the law. So he threatened to melt Farfie's knifes into an angel and have it bolted down to the floor of his "room" so he can see it every day. Believe it or not, this scared the hell out of Farfie.  
  
Dr. Lasagna put on his little mask thingy and gloves, then went over to Farfarello "Ok n now open your mouth." Farfie did as he was told while looking pissed and ready to kill the whole time. "OH MY GOD! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO THE DENTIST?!?!?!"  
  
Farfarello's eye's- well eye flew open at this last comment as he bolted up, "What did you say?"  
  
"Um, I.. I said oh my god, when was the last time you went to the dentist?"  
  
"You said the G word.."  
  
"Uh."  
  
"YOU SAID THE G WORD! NOW YOU MUST PAY!"  
  
"What th- OH MY GOD HELP ME!"  
  
"YOU SAID IT AGAIN!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" could be heard all throughout the building. Schuldig looked up from the same magazine as before, looked at the door to the office, and blinked a few times. "Uh Brad, you think we should have put him in a strait jacket?" Schuldig looked at Brad who was banging his head against the back of his chair as a VERY terrified looking woman walked out into the small room. "Um, Miss. Jones, were ready for you"  
  
"Ok"  
  
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"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
This had been going on for about a hour now. It turns out that when "Miss. Jones" went into the back room, she left her little girl in the waiting room.alone. unsupervised. with no one to play with while she waited for her mom to get out. Now it seemed this little girl liked to play games, she also seemed to like bugging Brad. So she decided to do her two favorite things. Bug Brad to play a game of coarse! ^_^  
  
Schuldig had left with one of the doctors a little while ago. Crawford couldn't decide weather this was a good thing or a bad thing.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No..."  
  
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"Ok now Mr. Um Mr............................... Schuldig?" The doctor looked unsure.  
  
"Yeah, got a problem with my name?" Schuldig asked in an irritated tone  
  
"Heh heh! Well yes I do! Usually people have last names! Ha ha, but I guess your just weird aren't you?!? Well you certainly look weird don't you." The dentist said with a crooked laugh. Schuldig's eye had started twitching at the dentist's comments. How dare he insult him! The dentist certainly wasn't perfect either.  
  
"I wouldent be talking Doctor. Your thoughts are pretty perverted" Schuldig responded in a pissed off tone.  
  
"Yeah well id rather be perverted then a German you stupid little-"  
  
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Do to violent nature, bad cuss words, lazy authors, and a low budget we had to cut this scene out! Lets just say there was about an hour of insults, screaming, and cuss words between Dr. Idiot (AKA Dr. Say what's on his mind) and Schuldig. After about an hour Dr. Idiot's assistant got in- between them and reminded the good Doctor that there were other patients. Thank you for your cooperation, and now back to the story! ^_^  
  
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Back in the room where Nagi's been waiting for about 2 hours now for Miss. OHW....  
  
Nagi: :D (No, he's not smiling, he's sleeping with his mouth open)  
  
"Ok Nagi-" Miss.OHW paused when she saw that Nagi was sleeping. // Oh isn't that cute! He's fallen asleep! Oh I don't want to wake him! Oh I'll just start working on him while he's still asleep, HEE HEE HEE HEEE HEE!//  
  
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Nagi had just woken up from a horrible nightmare. He had a dream that some people had found out that he had "special powers" and decided that they wanted to see what made him special. So they killed him then put him in a room with a big chair in the middle of it and dissected him. The fact that he woke up with tubes in his mouth and a woman with a mask on and a scalpel in hand sitting over him dident really help.  
  
To be continued..  
  
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What will happen next? Will Nagi be alright? Furthermore will Dr. Lasagna be alright? Will Brad ever escape the little girl? Will Dr. Idiot and Schuldig stop fighting? Will I ever shut up? Find out next time on Tooth Decay and Dentist 


	5. Because Nagi screamed

*bashes her head against her key board* Ok, sorry I took so long for such a small chapter but life has been hectic lately. Iv been doing a lot of reports and storys for school lately. I never want to pick up another pencil again o_O I guess that's what a key board is for. And then the war started and everybody's freaking out so, iv just been stressed. Again, I'm sorry this chapter is so short.  
  
Thank you to all those who have reviewed, they make me feel all warm and fluffy inside  
  
Disclaimer: And yet, I still don't own them  
  
"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, ple- "  
  
"FINE! I'LL PLAY TIC TAC TOE WITH YOU!  
  
"YAY!" The young girl quickly responded then grabbed her coloring book and a crayon. She then made a few marks and handed the book to Brad. "Your turn!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ok my little carrot colored construction cone."  
  
"Um doctor?" His assistant spoke out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well dident they tell you to stop calling patients names after you made that little girl cry?"  
  
"Oh... well.."  
  
"And what about that 15 year old boy.."  
  
"Um"  
  
"Or how about that 18 year old?"  
  
"."  
  
"Oh and then there was that old guy.."  
  
"Yea-"  
  
"And Dr. Hefner will never be the same.."  
  
"OK OK, I get the picture, no more name calling! Jeez, you old bat" The women raised an eyebrow then looked down at the patient.  
  
"Ok, lets get started."  
  
"Finally."  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.  
  
Well poor little Nagi woke up to see Mrs.OHW sitting over him with the little knife thing that they use to make you're gums bleed (or at least that's the only way my dentist uses it). So what do you think he did. he screamed.. Which made her scream.. Which made her throw up her hands.Which knocked over the tray. Which made her stand up.. Which made her knock her head on the overhead light.. Which made her fall down.. Which made Nagi laugh  
  
So, their Nagi was, sitting in a room with a passed out doctor on the floor and a bunch of tools lying there right next to her, with a few jammed into her face. So, he did what any young teenager would do. he left. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.. I win.. You lose.."  
  
"Ha ha, that little girl sure is beating you!" Another man had joined Brad and the little girl in the waiting room. And with occasional screams coming from the backrooms and Schuldig digging into his mind, Crawford was about to blow.  
  
No, Crawford wouldn't lose his dignity like that.  
  
"There are worse things in life than losing to a little girl though. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"  
  
No no, Crawford would lose his dignity by beating this guy up right here, right now. This idiot seemed to have a strange obsession with telling stupid jokes and sayings. Now they might be funny to some people, but not to Brad.  
  
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."  
  
No, defiantly not funny to Brad.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
848 words.. I think that's some kind of record for me o_O  
  
Please review 


	6. Brad's 417 word chapter

Yeah, I'm back! Wait, that's not a good thing.. This chapters real short. I guess I just felt the need to update.  
  
Disclaimer: Hi! ^_^  
  
Lawyer: Your supposed to say that you don't own Schwarz  
  
Minko: Shh! I was getting to that *cough cough* Hem hem..  
  
Lawyer: ....  
  
Minko: I own Schwarz! ^_^  
  
Lawyer: No! You don't own Schwarz!  
  
Minko: *pouts* *eye's get watery* I don't own Schwarz?  
  
Lawyer: No  
  
Minko: Oh, ok *skips off*  
  
Lawyer: o.O  
  
^^^ ========== ========== ^^^  
  
"This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was-"  
  
"Oh, hey, listen to this 'Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.'" The man started laughing. After about 5 minutes of laughing he finally realized that Brad was not laughing. "What happened to you, wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"  
  
Brad just glared  
  
"Well, actually for you it looks like all sides of the bed are wrong" He then started laughing again.  
  
Brad was getting pissed. There were constant screams and blood coming from the back rooms. And these two idiots didn't seem to care. Nagi had disappeared. Schuldig hadn't said anything to him mentally for a long time which usually meant something bad. The guy sitting next to him wouldn't shut up. He just had a very bad vision about for little kitties. But worst of all, the little girl was singing the song that never ends. Brad now understood WHY it was called the song that NEVER ends.  
  
"This is the song that never EEENNNNNDDDDDSSSSSSSSSS, it just goes on and on my FFFRRRIIIIIIEEEEENNNDDDDSSSSSSSSSSS..."  
  
Brad could have sworn it was getting louder...  
  
"So, what do you do for a living? Are you a lawyer or something?" The annoying guy spoke up (he finally stopped laughing)  
  
Brad gave him a sideways glance then said "I kill people"  
  
"Heh heh, no really, what do you do for work?"  
  
^^^ ========== ========== ^^^  
  
Well that's it for this chapter *blink blink* Yeah, ok, I'm sorry. I've just lost the will to write right now. Anyways I don't exactly know where I'm going with this. Oh, yeah, I don't know the last line to the song that never ends. All I know is This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was. and that's it. Yeah I know I suck. Please review? 


	7. Pirates and Devils and Geezers, oh my!

Ok, well the only reason I wrote this chapter is because I have a question. A while ago I read a Farfie/Nagi fic and iv been trying to find it again but I havnt been able to. It started with Nagi getting beat up at school and at the end Farfie walked to school with him and punched the leader then stepped on his chest till he heard it pop. Thats all I remember though. If you know what fic Im talking about please tell me the name of it. Thanks.  
  
Disclaimer: blah blah blah dont own schwarz blah blah blah or bob blah blah or the dentist for that matter.  
  
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Farfie was a happy little pirate. He had killed 4 dentists, 3 desk clerks, and five patients. Now he was having a disscusion with a guy that was painted red and had two devil horns sitting on his shaved head[1]. They were in the middle of talking about how today if somebody runs back into the village with outlandish tales of a burning bush that spoke aloud in the name of God, the story is not unanimously believed by a bunch of slope-headed glorified cavemen, through education, science, life experience and evolution we are able to decipher more probable explanations for such occurrences, and how this explains the complete lack of God-miracles in our time when Nagi came out of a door that didnt seem to be there before [2]. Brad had been called in 20 min ago. He left behind a dead guy and a singing girl.  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
Now they were getting some where. Brad was tired, angry, and hungry. He just wanted to get this over with. But the doctor certainly was taking his time. His assistant was bustling around the room cleaning up. It looked as if a tornado had gone through, or Farfarello, either one.   
  
All of a sudden a man walked into the room. He looked more like a crazed scientist than a dentist though. His hair was frizzed up and he wore his lab coat on backwards with latex gloves on. He had one of those masks on and attached to his glasses was a set of magnifying glasses that went from big to small. I really enhanced the unhinged look in his eyes. And- wait... why was he wearing a lab coat? Oh well, never mind. He walked over, sat down, then brought his face in really close to Brads.  
  
"How is we today?" he asked solemnly.  
  
Brad let his face relax into a droopy frown. "I dont know, how IS we today?"  
  
"We is doing fine, but we must hurry up today because we have a hot date with a sexy blonde tonight and we are going to need a few hours to get ready so let us get started now." This made both men look up to the women who had just turned around from the counter.  
  
"We do?" The doctor asked sounding sort of confused.  
  
The women just rolled her eyes then brought a tray over and set it down. "Ok Mr. Crawford we are going to count your teeth first then we'll clean them.  
  
"But I dont like blondes..." The doctor rambled on.  
  
Well this isnt that bad... Crawford thought to himself. At least she seems to know what she's doing, unlike that idiot.  
  
"Not like I dont mind men. I remember when I first discovered I was gay. It was when I was 17 and I met that straping young artist on that big boat they called the titanic. He kept telling me he was straight but then he asked to paint me naked. But then we ran over a whale and its friends ate through the bottom of the boat to get revenge on us. We all made it to shore except for his 'true love' who gave her life to him and drowned at sea. Well we thought he was ok until we found him at the grocery store, sitting in the freezer bin, whispering to a bag of frozen peas 'Why so cold my love?' Then I-"  
  
"Ignore him please"  
  
"Done"  
  
"Open your mouth" As he did so she picked up a tool from the tray then leaned over him and started counting his teeth. Now this dousnt sound bad at all, like there's nothing wrong with this. And there wouldnt have been anything wrong with this if she hadnt been pressing her chest up against the side of Brads face. But since she was, it was making him feel rather uncomfortable.  
  
'Enjoying yourself Bradley?' Schuldigs voice rang through his head.  
  
'No, and dont call me that'  
  
'Oh I think you are'  
  
'Remind me to maim you when we get home'  
  
"But like Gillbert always said 'Never sell for money what you can't buy back with money' but then again he also always said 'I love you with all my piece of brain that remaines! Its sort of blue-ish and has computer written on it in purple crayon' Then again I dont think old Gillys elavator went to the top floor..."  
  
"Sir, no offence but your feeble mind should have gotten you killed long ago" The assistant then turned back to pocking at Brad's gums and knocking his glasses off his face with her bust.   
  
  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
Okay, so a few notes. The guy painted red with horns (he's supposed to be the devil) hes an actual person. His name is Bob and he has a delightful little web site. But for reasons of not wanting to get flamed by that one person who has no sense of humor when it comes to religion, I will not say the web URL. Also that whole little sentance that has the [2] next to it is one of his opinion and I cant take credit for it.  
  
Also, about the crazed dentist. Well thats exactly what my dentist looks like. Can you imagine how scary that was to me when I was only 5 years old? Oh, and the assistant who leans her chest agains Brads face, theres a woman who douse that at the orthadontists ofice I go to. It makes you feel really uncomfortable.  
  
Any ways the next chapter will hopefully be the last.Please review 


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